In the Beginning…

*At the close of negotiations between God and The Other Guy

God; Yes, Man can make his own laws.

TOG: Awesome!

          This is going to be so much fun!

God: It’s not a game.

TOG: Stop being such a sourpuss.

          We’ve had nothing to do since the beginning of time, and now that the world has been created, You are being all bleh about it.

          Psyke up!

God: I’ll psyke up when it’s over.

TOG: Only 2012 years to go.

 God: Yeah.

*TOG finishes his drink and is about to leave when…

TOG: God. Buddy, ol’ pal.

God: What is it now?

TOG: Come on! Don’t be like that.

God: Look, I’m tired and it’s My bloody day off.

TOG: Too bad I’m the one with the masseurs, could have gotten you all sorted.

God: Ya, but I’m the One with the sweet crib

TOG: Which reminds me, the cat made a major mess on the back porch. I mean major.

           Holla at Whats-his-name to clean it up.

God: His name is Michael, and that’s not his job.

TOG: Hmmm…well it should be.

God: He has more important things to do.

TOG: Yeah. Right.

(tense silence)

God: But I’m glad that hell-cat isn’t going to be in my house anymore.

TOG: Oh come on! He’s the cutest thing ever…better than that mangy mutt.

God: Leave Rusco alone.

TOG: Trained by Michael, I see why he turned out so wrong.

(more silence)

TOG: Anyhoo…I was going to say, can I have one more thing?

God; No.

TOG: Pretty please?

God: No.

TOG: It’s not even that big a deal and you don’t have to do much.


         What is it then?

TOG: Remember when we decided to give Man free will? That he can do what he wants?

God: Yes.

TOG: And that we wouldn’t interfere in his affairs after the Fall?

God: Yes, yes. I remember, it was a few minutes ago.

TOG: Can’t we push up the plan?

God: No.

TOG: It’s not like the outcome will be different.

God: No.

TOG: But it’s so boooorrrrrring.

God: Take up knitting.

TOG: What?! Those needles can take out an eye.


God: I hate it when you make that face.

TOG: Just had an idea.

God: I’m not going to ask.

TOG: It’s pretty brilliant.

God: Not falling for this again.

TOG: It involves knitting needles.

God: I’m not listening.

TOG: Fine, I’ll just tell the boys when I get home.


God: Bye

TOG: *Pretends getting hit by a bullet

         Straight to the heart!

God: You don’t have a heart.

TOG: Thank G….I mean, it would interfere with my work.

God: Bye

TOG: Fine, I’m leaving…but remember to keep up your end of the deal on that free will thing.

God: I got it the first time.

TOG: Okay…I’m going to miss you.

God: Go to Hell.

TOG: I’m going, I’m going.

(The End?)


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