Conspiracy Buffology 101; An Introduction

The purpose of a conspiracy is two-fold; to inform and  to confuse.

                                                                                                                               – Anon

(much like advertising…lol)

                                                     -Me

The mark of a truly paranoid person is the ability to create the most intricate of conspiracies, but I have that gift without being paranoid, because I just awesome. So what if Jesus never existed, so what if evolution never happened, so what if there’s a secret organization slowly taking over in order to create a new world order? I love a good conspiracy. The more intricate the better, and lordy, can I make some up with the slightest ease. Welcome to the introduction to my class on  Conspiracy Buffology.

The making of a good conspiracy requires the ability to collect a few actual facts and create connections that may be real or unreal. Case in point,  “The show  Spy on Zone Reality is an undercover operation by the government to create a sleeper agents should official channels be infiltrated by enemies of the state.” Fact 1; there is a reality show that teaches and tests ordinary people on spy skills. Fact 2; There is a high probability of enemies infiltrating government agencies. A conspirator sees this as a golden goose and connects the 2, seemingly independent facts, thus a conspiracy is born. You don’t believe me? Let’s look at a more popular conspiracy, “Ronald Reagan is the devil.” (I’m sure you Boondocks fans get the reference). Fact 1; Ronald *** Reagan has 6 letters in each of his names Fact 2; 666, the Mark of the beast. Therefore RR is the devil. See it’s simple.

I feel we have doubters…let’s take another and let’s make it as outlandish as possible, “The Catholic Church had JFK shot.” Fact 1; JFK was Catholic  Fact 2; The Church has means. It could be that they had him killed because his behaviour  disgraced the institution. Walaa! You have a conspiracy. Common day to day ones, “The boss and Beth are having an affair.” Fact 1; The boss was seen with lipstick on his collar. Fact 2; Beth wears the same shade of lipstick. Or better still,”The al-Shabaab are run by foreign governments to throw Kenya into turmoil.” Fact 1; The al-Shabaab are operational in Kenya. Fact 2; Someone stands to benefit from a country in turmoil. You can create conspiracies from anything, like a bomb, and also like a bomb, depending on what you use and where you place it, destruction can be magnimanus(yup, just made up a word).

Sometimes all you need is one fact and a strong opinion. “The Kardashians are mandated by the hosting network to create a brain dead society.” Do I really need to explain this?

But seriously, look at the local political scene, it’s classic FACT + OPINION=TRUTH.

Through my class we will look at common conspiracies, the facts behind them and rationalize them.

What’s the point? There is no point; or is there?

 Your truth is all that matters.

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